SweetLifeStories Diabetes Blog

Four interesting things happened recently that made me think about how much of a struggle it sometimes is to live happily and passionately in spite of a lifetime of health issues like diabetes, and how critical it is to throw yourself with passion into doing the things that make you happy. Things that bring joy into your life. Activities that are so consuming that they make you forget, even if just for a little while, the burdens of trying to stay healthy and all that means.

First, my sister had a birthday and turned, well, three years younger than me. Nope, not telling! But I was thrilled to read her post at http://Beanygetsablog.wordpress.com and feel her growing happiness and appreciation, post-breast cancer, of everyone and everything in her life. She epitomizes what life’s all about–greeting every day with zest, loving her time with family and friends, immersing herself with gusto into cooking and city life, travel adventures and singing. Yes, my sister, I’m proud to say, is singing once again. That says it all: I am happy enough to sing my heart out and share my passion with others.

Then, I read an article on the internet that grabbed my attention–mostly because of what is not commonly seen these days in the news. It was about coping with Type 1 diabetes–and the article acknowledges how very hard it is.

See:  http://www/nytimes.com/2011/10/25/health/25brody.html?_r=1.

Although it gives just a simple glimpse into some of the burdens of this disease, it still made me ponder how often (healthwise) I feel like a “bad” person when my blood sugars aren’t in control–despite my best efforts at maintaining my willpower, managing an insulin pump, trying to fit in healthy meals and exercise, and overcoming the high blood sugar rises that accompany stress. Or how often I fight feelings of sheer panic when I start to envision a future where I succumb to the often-reported scary complications of long-term Type 1 diabetes. I try not to do that too often, but it’s always there. And the best I can do is to keep trying, refuse to give up and live as normal a life as possible.

The third incident was happy and fun. I was on an agility course last week with my 6-year old whippet Zoe. She and I have been in the process of becoming a team where we can interpret each other’s signals, verbal commands and moves. The resulting bond from working together is awesome! When we finished a particular sequence of running several obstacles, the trainer’s words rang out to me. “Party her! Party her really well! She did a great job following you!” That made me smile so brightly that it could have lit up a room. First of all, I love playing with words, and here was a perfect example of turning a noun into the most amazing verb; it was perfect! Then I realized, that this word–as a verb–is so powerful, too. I couldn’t think of a better way to say what needed to be said. I thought later, as I drove Zoe and myself home, we all need to “party ourselves” in the issues and things that matter. We need to recognize the importance of taking the smallest steps forward on our life journey and be sure to celebrate doing so. 

Finally, I had the absolute joy of running Zoe in an AKC agility trial last week. My sweet little whippet who is so shy becomes a driving, maniacal force out on the field–so much so that she (and I) often make mistakes (which we learn from) and of course then get disqualified (DQ’d). (It’s humbling, but you have to imagine trying to keep up with a whippet who can run like the wind!) So after a long dry spell of four trials and eight runs over five long months with no qualifying scores at all, on our very last run of the day, we finished the course. I knew Zoe had erred once when she went around, instead of through, the tire. So I’d brought her back and, this time, she soared through it, bounding over the last two jumps to the finish line. Had we “Q’d?” OMG–yes and more! Zoe and I had earned an astonishing FIRST PLACE!

A miracle? Perhaps. But I thought of all of our hard work and the challenges I faced struggling to not give up! That work and passion gave me such joy. I had tried to fly like the wind, too-channeling my beautiful soaring dog–and I was thrown into another dimension where diabetes, for once, didn’t exist, and the feeling of success was so sweet, so tempting, that it moved me to vow that I’ll keep on trying and loving life in spite of all its imperfections.

Power to partying your passions, and your steps forward no matter how big or small! 

B well, be happy. Until next time, kath

And the morning didn’t disappoint. The birds’ sequined feathers dazzled me. Their quest for energy-sustaining liquids fascinated. And their near-nonstop activity was mesmerizing. Then, looking at all the energy these jeweled hummers expended, a curious thought grabbed me.

Though I love watching these tiny acrobats, I can’t imagine how much sugar (i.e., carbs and food) it would take to keep me going like that! Our group’s hosts, in fact, let us know that they mix up, on average, over 300 pounds of sugar and water in one season. That translates into 1,733 calories (straight carbs) per pound of sugar, or almost 520,000 calories per season for those busy little creatures! I can’t even imagine having to figure out insulin coverage for this type of routine!

Having to count my carb intake every day and balance it with activity, sometimes feeling trapped into a “Groundhog Day” repetitive pattern of being chained to food as an insuling-taking Type 1 diabetic, this thought of never being able to do anything but sustain one’s life by a singular quest for food takes my breath away! And exercising like that? It really would take a miracle for any of us to sustain that level of activity (insulin-dependent or not). Go hummers, go!  Amazing what we take for granted, isn’t it?

B well, b happy. I’d love to hear about your passions that keep you going in spite of health challenges.

Until next time, kath

Kath + Tess' first show- Scottsdale

Whoever said life–despite living with diabetes–can’t be fun?

Having come back recently from showing my puppy Tess in our first AKC conformation shows, and entering  local AKC Agility Trials with my 5 year old whippet Zoe for the very first time, I can swear to the magic that intense participation in something–anything–you love doing is worth it!

I’ll admit I was a tad overwhelmed when I drove all the way from Albuquerque to Scottsdale for my first dog show a few weeks ago! Mostly, I was a little rattled at having to stand my puppy correctly as show judges scrutinized me, her, and other entrants. But it took only a day or two into the showing process (along with some lessons and advice before I’d left home for the show), to realize that I really could do this! And aside from the political aspects of the dog show world where well-known breeders and their dogs and handlers sometimes garner judges’ attention and the top awards, we did well enough to be encouraged! Two 2nd place ribbons, several 3rds and 4ths, and a world of experience in the realm of showing my puppy! Woo hoo!

Next up, reminding me of the importance of exercising, eating right, practicing agility signals and moves, and just striving to improve, came the AKC 3-day agility trial. I entered Zoe with a little trepidation. Like me, she’s quirky and gets stressed in situations that are new to her. But we’ve worked hard for almost three years trying to learn agility together. I was happy, knowing my dog had found a niche in which she could do well. But I didn’t know if she would hold up at the competition level. So we registered for our first agility trials to find out.

What did I learn? Because I didn’t give up, Zoe and I are finally a team. Running two agility runs each day of the 3-day trial was great for me; the stress, well, sometimes less than great! But the lure of working at agility to get better is, well, simply alluring. I actually have dreams of earning any coveted titles of AX (Excellent A Agility), AXJ (Excellent A Jumpers With Weaves), or even, dare I say it, a MACH (Master Agility Champion)!

Camaraderie with other agility enthusiasts, the potential to make good friends, the focus it takes to stay physically active and get  stronger to compete–all for the love of a dog and a sport. Voila! How powerful to find a niche that makes your heart (and not your blood sugar!) soar.  Ahhhhhh; all is well.

Kath + Zoe in Agility Trials- Albuquerque

B well; b happy.  And find any niche that helps u soar to new heights!

Until next time, Kath

Just a quick thought to share today as spring tempts us to be more active outdoors and blood sugar levels start to drop . . .

I love challenging myself to guess my blood sugar several times every day. It’s like playing a game, but the reward of being satisfied that you are close to being in the right range is great! Except, of course, when you’re not, but that’s a different story!

Today, for example, I was lured outdoors by the warmth of a sunny morning. Before I knew it, I began to trim a few roses and collect fallen leaves from the garden soil. An hour later, I started to feel a little shaky. I’d only eaten a light bf of egg and tea since I’d awakened at 170. But gardening worked its magic in more ways than one; I knew I had to check my blood sugar, and I used the moments before doing so to guess what it would register on my meter. Hmmm; I’ll bet it’s 48 right now, I thought. And moments later, voila! 52 appeared on my meter.

Not a bad guess at all! And a fun way to check up on affirming I’m in touch with reading–correctly or not–what’s happening with my body and blood sugar shifts. Such a strange way to poke at living day to day with diabetes, I know, but also an important tool to focus on connecting with my state of health, too.

B well, b happy, b FUN.

Until next time, Kath

All in my quest to stay active and healthy both physically and mentally, I’ve been calendar-driven and goal-focused to the max. It’s not only friends and family who can’t believe how full my days are; I, too, wonder how I’ll get through most everything on my list. I mentally check off everything a week contains: a writing-critique group meeting, dog classes, 2 clay classes, photography club, calling (and maybe trying to get over to see) my parents. The list goes on and on. But then I take a deep breath and think, So what if not everything gets done? It’s working on the process that counts, and whatever goals and tasks haven’t been “checked off” should be worthy of my continued attention over a longer period of time.

So I am left wondering about the “whys” of overfilling my lists each day, week, month. There’s no doubt that keeping busy staves off overeating and my fears about the future.  But then I take another look, noting that most of my activities are fun. Meaningful, too. Staying so busy, keeping my daily life brimming with learning opportunities and connections with others makes me happy. Provides a road toward new skills, some laughter along the way, and anticipating new challenges with more zest than trepidation.

But I know, too, that building in some give time is essential. “Give time” . . . as in giving meaningful time to connect to others, and allowing myself time to reflect, to revamp direction and some of my efforts, where necessary. Thus comes the big question on how to manage adding too much: 2 new writing groups; 5 dog classes;  a multitude of springtime dog trials and shows; 1 new mentor photography group filled with amazing women and potential friends; weekly visits with one dog to hospice patients; all important, rewarding, and somewhat altruistic, right?

So why the nagging? Why do I still find myself struggling with how to embed the highest priority item of exercise into my routine: walking every day, for instance, or exercising somewhere–anywhere!–to manage my blood sugars, keep my heart healthy, and help my body and mind stay strong after so many years of living with Type 1 diabetes.  So I’m struggling, realizing that the 3-4x I’ve committed to x-c skiing and snowshoeing every winter month–for me an extraordinary commitment–are still not enough.

How much IS enough? Am I being too hard on myself? Or do I reluctantly realize that the Number One priority of physically taking care of yourself every single day when you live with diabetes cannot have much “give” to it month after month, year after year? So many of us can rationalize this issue by saying: both physical and mental nourishment go hand-in-hand. One is void without the other. But I sure wish–I think I wish–I knew the answer!

Until next time. B well, b happy, Kath

today– 1/1/11 –was such a lazy day. so c-c-cold here in the aftermath of arctic air sweeping down to the southwest, even my pup tess was curled up in front of the space heater. so i just took time to catch up on the computer, immersed myself in a good book, and picked up around the house. of course, lazing around makes me feel so guilty, what with not exercising or actively working on managing my blood sugars. but everyone needs to build in these cerebral quiet kind of days to reflect and move forward with new plans.

and those resolutions are definitely on my calendar:  3 new puppy training classes starting at the end of the week.  joining a local gym (a have-to, but all i can say about going there a few times a week is . . .  ”blech!”). and, if i don’t freeze to death while doing it, getting out to the local mountains to x-c ski in two days for the first time this winter!  i prepaid and thus obligated myself to 6-7 x-c and snowshoeing trips through february with a great group of people, so aside from whining about the possibility of freezing, i expect to have lots of fun and reap the benefits of getting outside during the worst of these cold winter months.

here’s hoping you’ve had a chance to plan out and make good on some health(y) resolutions, too! wishing a happy and healthy new year filled with ongoing zest for life’s passions to all my friends and family!

B well, be happy. Until next time, Kath

My life has been a whirlwind–turned upside down not by the expected stress of the holidays, but by an innocent adorable puppy! I didn’t expect or even want to add a 3rd dog to our brood until summer, but a friend of ours we know through lure coursing with our whippets begged us to “try” her as part of our family–one who is eager to train and work their dogs on agility courses. I have been training Zoe, our 5-year old, for over two years in agility (which is really to say, I’ve been training myself to do the right things!), and we’re finally ready to start competing. The skills classes and agility drills alone have done wonders for keeping my blood sugar levels under control! And they’re so much FUN!  But just how in the world do you just “try out” a dog?    

So our brindled Tesla (whom we call Tess) came to stay the day after Thanksgiving at four months of age. Despite turning down a pup from this litter several times, we were finally and unabashedly worn down by the breeder’s begging and belief in us. And zapped full force by the puppy’s adorable antics! I’m enrolled in not one, but THREE new year’s classes for little Tess:  Puppy Foundations in Agility, Puppy Obedience, and even the much dreaded Conformation Skills (yes, it’s really killer out there in the show ring, much like the world portrayed in the cult classic movie “Best in Show”). All to see what potential this charming beautiful smart-as-a-whip puppy has to offer . . .    

And I’ve unexpectedly found a delightful benefit of training a puppy: Little to no holiday stress or time to fixate on holiday food! No time = no worries. Oops; except for the albatross of housebreaking, which means I have to run, grab some reinforcing treats, and get Tess outside NOW!    

My newest piece of heaven

B well, b happy, b full of spirit and purpose! Happy holidays to you and yours! Until next time, Kath

Ahhh; just back from 10 days spent in pristine, laid-back, too-friendly-to-believe-these-days Oshkosh, Wisconsin for the amazing AirVenture Fly-in event. My first time there! Near tens of thousands of people matched by thousands of planes from every era; incredible airshows filled with aerobatic stunts (my stomach lurched just watching from the ground, but oh, what photographic and visual joy!), jet fly-by’s, Warbird formations, fireworks; and vendors hawking everything from multi-million dollar aircraft to GPS units to fly-in community developments to food.

What was that? FOOD? Yeah, lots of the usual event-style food. Not healthy, but considering the miles walked every day in the double digits, I got away with eating some of it. The rest of the time, I packed my snacks and lunches, better to control what I ate and actually enjoyed it more. Except, of course, for the soft-serve that made my tongue literally drool. Once in a while, I added that to my meal plan, too. To be honest, I did some quick mental calculations on calories and food values so that the soft-serve and custard actually became my meal plan. To me, it made sense. Like Bill Cosby’s feeding his kids chocolate cake for breakfast while they sang his praises, it ingeniously became an all-inclusive meal for me in one delightful product:  milk = protein and fat and carbs/sugars (tempered by miles of walking). Couldn’t be more perfect! Another dietary blessing on planet Earth! Sigh . . .

Wow; if I could only keep getting the same low blood sugar readings I got all weekend while trekking with a group of friends along breathtaking trails in Ouray, Colorado!  By low blood sugar readings, what I really mean is finding myself somehow, miraculously, in the NORMAL range!  Blood sugars below 130?  YES!!!  All day–for two whole days–while hiking, seeking out great photo shots (no pun intended), and doing all the set-up for them. That was nearly 48 hours, or 2,880 minutes, or 172,800 seconds of bliss. But who’s counting?

Some of you might even know what I mean by feeling normal (which is so rare!)–being able to eat and not take any insulin boluses (or shots, for you non-pumpers) or give it much thought while out and about just enjoying life like everyone else. What a luxury; one that I don’t ever take for granted since they occur so infrequently. Of course, I had to keep testing my blood sugar. While traveling and on active trips, I probably do that even more than I usually do–just to stay safe, keep out of trouble (and any potential emergency situations).

But I’ll admit I enjoyed this experience for all it was worth. And the delightful tastes of reasonable amounts of a delectable pb&j sandwich, ice cream and even chocolate (quite deserving of their very own food categories in the food pyramid of diabetic life) were scrumptious, pretty much guilt-free, and indeed a luxury.  My highest blood sugar after each day of hiking?  123!  Magnificent, even inspirational, no? 

b well, b happy!  Until next time, Kathy

Arrgh! WHO opened the heavens to unleash thunder, rain, sleet, and snow on my spring garden at such a late spring date?!? It’s almost unheard of to awaken to such harsh elements after an average last-frost date of April 18th here in the high southwest desert! And despite the benefits of this moisture for my plantings, I just want my request to be heard!

Dear Mother Nature:

Regarding all your recent RAIN, SLEET, & SNOW . . .

A small note of thanks for nourishing my garden and helping it grow.

But as for me and the elements, I’ll admit I’m weary.

I’d give up some of that moisture and toil hard for you, just to get my blood sugars to stay steady and low!

So won’t you give it some thought, and maybe I’ll even sweeten the deal?

On behalf of blood sugars rising everywhere in the land of Spring Lion’s roar:  Won’t you seriously consider my query?