SweetLifeStories Diabetes Blog

Today is just one of those days when I find myself running around like a chicken with my head cut off!  BUSY and catching up, like we all find ourselves doing so often. So when I stopped for a few minutes to test my blood sugar level before fixing lunch, I played my daily guessing game. “Sixty-seven,” I announced to myself. “Sixty-five,” came back the reading on my meter. Hmmmm, not bad . . . you rock, girl! I was thrilled to be in such close touch with sensing my body signals and being in “good” control.

Ah–there’s that word that invokes guilt; control. What does it mean? Not every day is under your control when you live with diabetes, right? Hour to hour can find me moving from plummeting sugars to skyrocketing ones that make me feel sick as a dog. This happened to me earlier in the week during a four-day local dog show where I showed my 9 month old puppy Tess. I started off the morning congratulating myself on having a great blood sugar of 109. Ate a plate of eggs, knowing the protein would hold me. Three hours later amid the jitters (and adrenaline) of waiting, worrying, and then going into the show ring, my body was itching from the inside out. What was it? A blood sugar level of 311! Had I eaten anything? No. But stress and stress alone did me in. I had to go home after taking a large bolus of insulin from my pump and sleep it off–aggravated to have wasted the rest of the day.

A friend later asked, “Hey, isn’t the reason you wear an insulin pump so you can give more insulin when you need it–or not?” Guilt being my middle name, the question about why I didn’t test sooner to pre-empt my terribly high sugar level really bothered me.

Then, I realized what I was thinking at the time–sometimes, to figure out what works in terms of patterns, we have to grant ourselves time to experience what it really is that we have to do to function well and maintain control. In other words, I knew I had to observe the impact of stress on my blood sugar while handling my dog in the show ring. After it happened, I knew for sure that I had to counteract the rise in my sugar level the next day with just a touch of insulin.

What a fine line we have to walk–always deciding on not taking or doing too little versus not taking or doing too much–just to stay in control. Food, special treats, exercise, sleep, meds, travel–it’s all the same. Doing what works best to control your own health and enjoying your own life is what counts. That’s what I call being in control–but in a meaningful way.

And speaking of control, this week, the TCOYD (Taking Control of Your Diabetes) conference comes to Albuquerque! Looking forward to sharing my blog with others and inviting you to join in on sharing your thoughts about the challenges of living with or being touched by diabetes, as well as how and where you find the inspiration to overcome its challenges and live life to the fullest every single day!

Until later, b well, b happy. Kath

sometimes it takes something that puts fear into your heart to get you to move forward.

for me, it came within days of running agility trials with Zoe, my 5 year old whippet. the chant of “something’s wrong” came in the form of pain; aching in my foot that wouldn’t go away despite soaking and massaging it in hot baths, and getting extra accupuncture appointments designed to increase blood flow. it stayed, along with much higher than normal blood sugar levels, that swept a raw fear into my heart and mind.

that kind of deep raw fear is something that sometimes gets the better of those of us who live with diabetes. it’s like a refrain–a low pulse lurking in the background of our lives, but there nonetheless, whispering: do you think you can escape the long-term effects of diabetes? this is IT for you; you might lose your foot or your leg if you don’t get those blood sugars down NOW!

i always try my hardest to keep my sugar levels low. but sometimes, it’s a losing battle. insulin resistance? maybe. stress? probably. usually, these episodes resolve within a few days or hours, and i go back to being my more relaxed self. happy in being and doing so many things i love! but this go-round, lasting almost two weeks, definitely rattled me.

how did i cope and what did i do? i kept upping my insulin (higher basal rates on my pump and giving extra boluses). and of course, when too much insulin hit me, i had several severe reactions (low blood sugar episodes). then my blood sugar level rebounded spitefully–into the 370 range. but at a friend’s suggestion, i joined a Zumba exercise class. it had been a long time since i attended a group class like that, but it helped. finally, my blood sugar levels came down, and the class lifted my mood and worries.

hooray for the benefits of exercise. i was even able to go without formal exercise the very next day; thrilled to be on a photography trip with girlfriends. but these kinds of incidents remind me that quality time doesn’t just mean time connected with others. it’s obviously critical–whether or not you live with a disease like diabetes–to be connected to oneself in order to make your own life as positive and healthy as possible. and yes, Zumba’s on tomorrow’s schedule.

B well, b happy. And keep trying to stay connected!

Until next time, kath

Just a quick thought to share today as spring tempts us to be more active outdoors and blood sugar levels start to drop . . .

I love challenging myself to guess my blood sugar several times every day. It’s like playing a game, but the reward of being satisfied that you are close to being in the right range is great! Except, of course, when you’re not, but that’s a different story!

Today, for example, I was lured outdoors by the warmth of a sunny morning. Before I knew it, I began to trim a few roses and collect fallen leaves from the garden soil. An hour later, I started to feel a little shaky. I’d only eaten a light bf of egg and tea since I’d awakened at 170. But gardening worked its magic in more ways than one; I knew I had to check my blood sugar, and I used the moments before doing so to guess what it would register on my meter. Hmmm; I’ll bet it’s 48 right now, I thought. And moments later, voila! 52 appeared on my meter.

Not a bad guess at all! And a fun way to check up on affirming I’m in touch with reading–correctly or not–what’s happening with my body and blood sugar shifts. Such a strange way to poke at living day to day with diabetes, I know, but also an important tool to focus on connecting with my state of health, too.

B well, b happy, b FUN.

Until next time, Kath

I’ve been crazily busy the last two weeks with really cool pursuits; entering three of my photos into the local state fair, assisting the professional judging panel for three straight l-o-n-g evenings of judging professional and amateur images, running my dog in our very first agility fun match, putting together my first tile mosaic project. All great stuff. And so demanding of immersion and my attention that I started to lose focus on managing my blood sugars.

What a double-edged sword; such joy in throwing myself into tackling projects and activities that make my heart sing, and make me nearly forget about shouldering the physical and psychological burdens that come with living day to day with diabetes. Yet, in the totally blissful immersion of my mind and body, comes an affront in the shape of creeping blood sugar levels that I can feel in my aching hands. Inattention to the diabetes, I guess, gone unnoticed and maybe even subconsciously tucked aside because I didn’t have time to deal with it while having so much fun, loving life and all I’m doing!

When I had an opportunity to print out some photographic images with my friend Eric, president of our local camera club, he posed an interesting challenge to me:  ”To get better and move to the next level, you need to think about choosing a focus, immersing yourself in it, and learning all you can about it; so what topic do you think will be your  focus this year?” And of course, immersed in the context of striving to be a skilled photographer worthy of National Geographic stature, I was willing to struggle with that issue. Portraiture? Abstracts? Landscapes? Cultural Photojournalism? Motion photography?  My mind spun with delight at the possibilities. All important to learn; each one filled with lessons and opportunities.

And then I thought (a little grudgingly, I’ll admit);  Hmmm. Not so different in terms of what I have to do every day and every week of my life with diabetes. Strategize about compositional elements: what makes me strong?  Analyze what’s right, and what’s not working for me. Readjust my position.  And sometimes, hit delete and be willing to start over and forgive myself for my mistakes. Focus, I realize, is key to everything.

Definitely not easy to do when it’s so personal, but I’m still learning, every day, how life and art are so integrated.  CLICK.

sun’s up! birds are chirping! and so am i!  happy, that is! and why not?!? spring into summer is finally, really, truly here! thank goodness, because last week we nearly froze to death in the high desert southwest–being pummeled with 50 mph spring winds, sleet, rain, and snow showers! mother nature obviously has her own terms and conditions.

so the last rose is going in this morning–after i treat my waking blood sugar of 40 (now  rising to 54 !)–along with my 4 big tomatoes and two gorgeous purple basils that have been waiting ever so patiently for enough consistent warmth to flourish. rest of the herbs were planted yesterday, so we’re ready for a mahvelous summer feast . . . 

but for now, a bite of not-so-garden-derived deep chocolate brownie will have to do! blessings, all of it . . .

why oh why is it SO difficult to focus and get anything done with high blood sugars?  i hate when that happens!

today after working on trimming a porcelain plate in a local clay studio, i went out to lunch with a few friends. nothing much; just 1 mini lunch-sized chicken enchilada and taste of beans. gave plenty of insulin to cover those carbs. i actually left hungry. came home and gave yet more insulin to cover a sugar-free dark chocolate-covered ice cream bar. and then my b.s. started to rise. and rise some more.

groggy. sleepy. eyes hurting. whatever was on my to-do list vanished, brutally conquered by those blood sugars.

a short nap might be just the ticket, i thought, before getting some things checked off my list. very important to me–accomplishing things, moving forward every day. so after giving a small bolus on my insulin pump, i crawled under the covers to nest with my crazy sleep-loving dogs.

and here i sit six hours later, blood sugar level slightly lower but still sleepy, unfocused; dare i say unmotivated? guess that growing to-do list will have to wait for tomorrow. my dogs are calling me with an invitation to give up the stress of personal accountability and just sink into blissful sleep.

surrender or escape? win or lose? who knows! feels like i’m starring in my very own diabolical version of Lost . . . 

Arrgh! WHO opened the heavens to unleash thunder, rain, sleet, and snow on my spring garden at such a late spring date?!? It’s almost unheard of to awaken to such harsh elements after an average last-frost date of April 18th here in the high southwest desert! And despite the benefits of this moisture for my plantings, I just want my request to be heard!

Dear Mother Nature:

Regarding all your recent RAIN, SLEET, & SNOW . . .

A small note of thanks for nourishing my garden and helping it grow.

But as for me and the elements, I’ll admit I’m weary.

I’d give up some of that moisture and toil hard for you, just to get my blood sugars to stay steady and low!

So won’t you give it some thought, and maybe I’ll even sweeten the deal?

On behalf of blood sugars rising everywhere in the land of Spring Lion’s roar:  Won’t you seriously consider my query?

January 17, 2010

Argggggghhh! Wouldn’t you know it? Decent blood sugar control smashed to smithereens by an unforeseen detail: My rising blood stubbornly refused to respond to more and more boluses of insulin, so when I got up just the other morning, I decided to take a more careful look at what might be causing this “insulin resistance.” What did I discover? Jeez; the insulin I’d put into my newly-changed pump which was flowing into my body for the last 2-3 days actually had an expired date on the bottle! I can’t believe that an expiration date of just 3 months can make all the difference in the insulin being effective, but apparently it does. Of all the stupid things to discover. Sometimes being too familiar with my routine of self-care really backfires, as in this case. I guess I only thought I was being conscientious. Glad I discovered the problem, though, and only had to suffer thru 2 days of high blood sugars–which was unpleasant enough. One step forward–and a little gold star, please, for being conscientious. Two steps back, I’m afraid, for being too rushed to check the details when I loaded my pump, thereby ruining my blood sugar average for the month! Where do I go now–to detention?