SweetLifeStories Diabetes Blog

Quotes can be inspirational, but too often they’re a royal pain in the rear–dredging up feelings I’d rather ignore or experiences I’d rather leave in my past.  Too preachy. More often than not, condescending. But sometimes, yes, I’ll admit there are times when a good one comes along that can change your day, light a smile, and inspire you to dig in harder to face some of the obstacles in your path.

I signed up a few months back to get online delivery of daily quotes through Inspirational Daily. Some days, admittedly, I choose to hit “delete.” And just like that, the pressure of having to face someone else’s idea of inspiration is gone (LOL)! But there are other days I’m more open to ponder the connections between how I live my life and the daily quote sent out through someone’s else’s website. Yesterday was one of those days, when my email delivered a doozy to my virtual doorstep and I chose to hit “read.” Here’s what grabbed me:

You’ve got to follow your passion. You’ve got to figure out what it is you love–who you really are. And have the courage to do that. I believe that the only courage anybody ever needs is the courage to follow your own dreams.   —Oprah Winfrey

Well, dear Oprah, there’s a reason your quote reasonated with me! It’s through digging deep into what I love to do that I can forget my worries about living with long-term diabetes. Instead of being tempted by foods I shouldn’t eat 24/7, I’m happy to be digging in my garden until my blood sugar drops so low that I have to legitimately eat! I’m carried away by shaping clay on my humming potter’s wheel into a miraculous vessel, or trying to master applying a Photoshop action to one of my beloved photographs, or making the right connection with one of my sweet dogs so that she goes sailing over jumps and swishes perfectly through her agility weave poles . . .  It’s all beautiful when those efforts work.

Kath on potters wheel in Japan

It doesn’t really matter what your passions and talents are. They’re “happiness channels”–there for the taking, helping us feel better about ourselves. My happiness makes those around me happier, too. But most important for me, my passions move me into another dimension–one far removed from the everyday burdens of living with (and worrying about) diabetes. I am someone else in the time I spend passionately engaged in things I love to do. That, alone, is worth the time and space it takes to grapple with the daily onslaught of quotes delivered to my virtual doorstep!

B well, b happy, and pursue your passions. Somehow, they are all magically linked!

Until next time, kath

The curse of always trying to be . . .

Ahhh . . . the quest to always be better (if not perfect)! Shall I name the ways for those of us living with and touched by diabetes?

blood sugar levels

dietary restraints

 remembering to carry snacks (and glucose)

exercising not too much but definitely enough

following a routine

focusing on staying calm and happy

not snapping at our partner/spouse

trying to share just enough info about ourselves with friends and colleagues

meeting our health-care team at least half-way

 improving HA1C levels

being kind to our eyes

enjoying small treats likes tastes of ice cream, a bite of a cookie, and (of course) chocolate

not making ourselves crazy about all the what-if’s

finding friends with whom we’re comfortable sharing some the details of living with this disease

letting ourselves be cared for and loved

giving to and helping others

being happy with our own bodies

smiling–even when it’s hard to do so

moving to a positive state of mind

tackling new ideas, projects, hobbies and interests

BELIEVING that all things are possible

What thoughts and issues don’t weigh us down when we allow ourselves to feel burdened with the impact of life’s disappointments and defeats?

I strive to rise beyond these days. Sometimes all it takes to help is looking at my in-the-moment puppy, so filled with the joy of discovery that I can’t help but hug her and feel renewed. A hug, a connection, a friend. And all is better in my world.

B well, b happy.

Until next time, your friend kath

Jules and me, we go together like pb & j. We’ve shared our triumphs, worries, and defeats over 25 years. Our husbands laugh and share stories about our sometimes obnoxious low blood sugar behaviors. I don’t know what I’d do without Jules in my life. She’s my touchstone. A sister of the highest order.

Today, Jules emailed to tell me she’d undergone laser treatment yesterday. A visiting once-a-month specialist from CA who collaborates with her regular eye doc came to do the surgery, and the news is GOOD! No pain, no more floaters, more oxygen restored to the eye, and little likelihood of vision loss . . . all due to the use of the most modern equipment and genius skills of a retinal specialist. A miracle conducted in the context of everyday living, so taken for granted.

Both Jules and I can breathe a little easier now. We can get out our calendars to schedule more SOUL-TIME together. That’s my euphanism for what’s good for all of us–no matter what challenges we face. I’m so grateful for the small miracles that surround us.

celebrating Jules' bd 2gether

B well; b happy.

Until next time, kath

Kath + Tess' first show- Scottsdale

Whoever said life–despite living with diabetes–can’t be fun?

Having come back recently from showing my puppy Tess in our first AKC conformation shows, and entering  local AKC Agility Trials with my 5 year old whippet Zoe for the very first time, I can swear to the magic that intense participation in something–anything–you love doing is worth it!

I’ll admit I was a tad overwhelmed when I drove all the way from Albuquerque to Scottsdale for my first dog show a few weeks ago! Mostly, I was a little rattled at having to stand my puppy correctly as show judges scrutinized me, her, and other entrants. But it took only a day or two into the showing process (along with some lessons and advice before I’d left home for the show), to realize that I really could do this! And aside from the political aspects of the dog show world where well-known breeders and their dogs and handlers sometimes garner judges’ attention and the top awards, we did well enough to be encouraged! Two 2nd place ribbons, several 3rds and 4ths, and a world of experience in the realm of showing my puppy! Woo hoo!

Next up, reminding me of the importance of exercising, eating right, practicing agility signals and moves, and just striving to improve, came the AKC 3-day agility trial. I entered Zoe with a little trepidation. Like me, she’s quirky and gets stressed in situations that are new to her. But we’ve worked hard for almost three years trying to learn agility together. I was happy, knowing my dog had found a niche in which she could do well. But I didn’t know if she would hold up at the competition level. So we registered for our first agility trials to find out.

What did I learn? Because I didn’t give up, Zoe and I are finally a team. Running two agility runs each day of the 3-day trial was great for me; the stress, well, sometimes less than great! But the lure of working at agility to get better is, well, simply alluring. I actually have dreams of earning any coveted titles of AX (Excellent A Agility), AXJ (Excellent A Jumpers With Weaves), or even, dare I say it, a MACH (Master Agility Champion)!

Camaraderie with other agility enthusiasts, the potential to make good friends, the focus it takes to stay physically active and get  stronger to compete–all for the love of a dog and a sport. Voila! How powerful to find a niche that makes your heart (and not your blood sugar!) soar.  Ahhhhhh; all is well.

Kath + Zoe in Agility Trials- Albuquerque

B well; b happy.  And find any niche that helps u soar to new heights!

Until next time, Kath

 Kathy . . . in haiku

      January 2011

 I was born early—

long struggling to find my way

in spirit and place.

Survivor, thriver—

I’ve learned a key to living

is looking forward.

My visions are strong—

realized through a camera’s lens

and other art forms.

I am a thinker;

creative problem-solver;

a great listener.

I relish in play—

everyday interactions

wrap me in happy.

I’m swept by passion—

more artist than scientist;

dreaming in color.

I’ve tasted success—

teaching and training, giving

to make a diff’rence.

Passionate trav’ler–

I love grasping warp and weft

of other life beats.

Still, dreams are many—

motivational speaker,

writer; gard’ner, too.

Despite challenges—

yet perhaps from their impact,

I assume little.

Laughter is a gift—

and opportunity looms

every day I wake.

Push onward, I say—

live extraordinarily

and never give up.

And those dreams? Still strong—

despite the cacophony

of spooling months, years.

They all nourish hope—

feeding every embarked step

of dazzling passage.

My life has been a whirlwind–turned upside down not by the expected stress of the holidays, but by an innocent adorable puppy! I didn’t expect or even want to add a 3rd dog to our brood until summer, but a friend of ours we know through lure coursing with our whippets begged us to “try” her as part of our family–one who is eager to train and work their dogs on agility courses. I have been training Zoe, our 5-year old, for over two years in agility (which is really to say, I’ve been training myself to do the right things!), and we’re finally ready to start competing. The skills classes and agility drills alone have done wonders for keeping my blood sugar levels under control! And they’re so much FUN!  But just how in the world do you just “try out” a dog?    

So our brindled Tesla (whom we call Tess) came to stay the day after Thanksgiving at four months of age. Despite turning down a pup from this litter several times, we were finally and unabashedly worn down by the breeder’s begging and belief in us. And zapped full force by the puppy’s adorable antics! I’m enrolled in not one, but THREE new year’s classes for little Tess:  Puppy Foundations in Agility, Puppy Obedience, and even the much dreaded Conformation Skills (yes, it’s really killer out there in the show ring, much like the world portrayed in the cult classic movie “Best in Show”). All to see what potential this charming beautiful smart-as-a-whip puppy has to offer . . .    

And I’ve unexpectedly found a delightful benefit of training a puppy: Little to no holiday stress or time to fixate on holiday food! No time = no worries. Oops; except for the albatross of housebreaking, which means I have to run, grab some reinforcing treats, and get Tess outside NOW!    

My newest piece of heaven

B well, b happy, b full of spirit and purpose! Happy holidays to you and yours! Until next time, Kath

So, here I am, still working 8 weeks later to adjust to fitting back into my routine life after a whirlwind 3+ weeks traveling in Japan and then a crazy but fun-filled four days of photographing red rock formations in Moab, Utah!

The small amount of Japanese language I had begun to understand and use has mostly faded from my brain cells, and I find I’m missing the excitement of trying to function between two languages, two geographic places, two cultures! But I still find myself processing what went well for me as a traveler with diabetes; someone who had the luxury (guided by my Tokyoite friend Chikako who traveled with me) of being so immersed in the Japanese culture, and what didn’t go so well in terms of living with my diabetes.

The basic staples of the Japanese diet: rice and noodles (udon; ramen; soba), served in huge amounts, were definitely an obstacle to good control. I am embarrassed to admit my recent HA1C was 8.5; gulp! one of my highest ever. Yet I found I needed to eat these carbs in Japan, since I had to be sure my blood sugar level didn’t fall too low while I walked miles every single day! That’s a common dilemma for many of my friends who have diabetes and travel anywhere. What I learned to do was add good protein, when available, to my meals, in the forms of fish (all types cooked and yes, even raw), egg, and chicken. The amount of protein served in meals was very small compared to what we eat in the U.S., so I supplemented my diet with protein bars and spoonfuls of peanut butter (which I brought in a plastic jar with me) when needed. This helped me survive pretty well!

The “new” carb that seems to be helping to skyrocket the number of Japanese being diagnosed with diabetes is, of all things, bread. White bread. Lots of it, everywhere, in patisserie specialty shops. And lots of sweets in the form of cakes, cookies, pastries. The Japanese definitely have a sweet tooth, and I was saddened to hear (and see) that many are paying for it . . . becoming overweight and diabetic. This was almost unheard of a generation ago, so it’s something to think about.

With the exception of battling high blood sugar levels after carb-laden lunches of noodles, ramen or udon soups, or rice dishes, I’m confident I managed my blood sugars and tweaking my insulin in such a distant land quite well!  I’m working on bringing that high average HA1C level down. But traveling definitely makes me quite grateful for home glucose testing (which most of us probably take for granted these days) and my insulin pump (for which I often give thanks for its ability to enable me to sleep later, switch time zones, cover extra carbs with boluses of insulin, and even suspend insulin, as  needed)!

Thanksgiving may be over on this year’s calendar. But in living my own life, there’s reason to celebrate and give thanks every day in terms of my gratefulness and sheer pleasure at the possibility of being immersed in the zest and best of life.

B well, b happy. Until next time (my procrastinating days are over; I’ll be writing again soon!), Kath

The Saturday Albuquerque Century Tour de Cure ride to raise funds toward defeating diabetes was even better than anticipated–despite fighting a high morning blood sugar from my lack of enough sleep! It was so inspiring, in fact, that I made a personal resolution to ride the 3K route next year–about 3.5 miles. I know that doesn’t sound like much, but it’s something I’ve never done before, and I’m thrilled to think about it since riding a bike again is a goal of mine for my post-spinal fusion body . . .   

I got to take over 500 photos of most every group start, vendors, volunteers, and individual cyclists. Like I shared in the previous post, it was great to be behind the camera working to capture all the excitement! The only hiccup was that the riders and volunteers practically melted from heatstroke in the record-breaking heat of 102-104 degrees. The beating sun and temp were definite challenges, but food, water, and the mission to make a difference forged a sense of camaraderie that got us through the day.

Met some amazing people, including one family from Santa Fe whose two-and-a-half year old daughter named TRUE (truly!) captured my heart. She was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes at just two years of age, but there she was–scooting around laughing and on her tricycle with a mind of her own! What a dynamo! What a hoot! What inspiration!

Thank you, True, all riders, sponsors, and fellow volunteers for giving me a reason to push on.

i got a FB FRIEND REQUEST just the other day–from someone i don’t know at all. clicking on his picture, i saw that he lives near where i grew up in the Philly burbs and that he knows a number of my “old” h.s. friends.  seems really nice and grounded. Mickey included info on raising three kids mostly on his own. one of those kids passed away just last year of complications  from the H1N1 swine flu. WOA! What if that happened to someone I love?

that got me. got me thinking about family and kids and all that really matters in life. and that we just don’t ever know what will happen as we turn corners in our lives.

this is something i wrestle with all the time. i often feel that most everything i do has a purpose, is meaningful and well thought out, and that i have more control over events in my life. probably a delusion, but pretty powerful thinking nonetheless. the type that has pushed me to move forward in my own life, trying to make meaningful decisions.

thinking back on raising the second of my two kids–my son–i was supremely aware that his background connected him to the very real possibility of someday developing diabetes. his biological aunt had type 1. she lived about 40 years with its impact. there were so many times, wrapped in feelings of love for my son, that i occasionally offered up a prayer to the heavens and pleaded, please keep him well. you already “have” me with diabetes, so don’t let his life be altered, darkened, robbed by this disease. PLEASE.

so i’d offer up promises, like always. deals meant to stave off misfortune, like: i‘ll commit myself to raising money this year to combat diabetes and help find a cure. OR, i‘ll spend a week at the local summer camp for kids, listening, being a quiet and strong role model, helping with anything and everything that’s needed.

these promises have almost always worked to make me a better person. but are they at best a coping mechanism? self-serving rather than working for the better good?

i don’t know. i only know i have a lot to be grateful for. Even when dark thoughts fill my head, i can eventually get up and step back on the path to somehow recapture a sense of  gratefulness and happiness amid my efforts to try to make a difference in this world.

i often think:  there but for the grace of God, go I . . .  and perhaps due to living with diabetes and developing an admittedly imperfect but conscious empathy for those around me, i definitely am learning to treasure every moment of this journey.

Anhinga: Seeking the sun's warmth-Everglades NP; Kathy Richter-Sand, photographer

Sunning, feathered wings stretched outward.
Preening, reaching, stretching,
long necks curled in fantastical loops.
Searching, ever so cautiously for new tidbits;
nourishment that sustains life.
Calling, honking, cawing as they seek
to connect to others of their species.
Taking flight, wings spread outright;
rising high into the sky
to move beyond all immediate threats.
These are the birds of the Everglades;
beautiful.
cautious.
free.

There are parallels between these creatures and me.
Lessons of habit, struggle, strength to be learned.
I dream of being like them.
My challenge is raising my own wings,
daring myself upward,
leaving the yoke of daily struggle behind.
Diabetes
my arch enemy, my nemesis,
is also my unimagined partner;
part of me.
I yearn to soar with a bird’s eye,
abandoning all fear,
beating my wings to song
rising on the drafts to sing;
focused.
spirited.
free.