SweetLifeStories Diabetes Blog

Quotes can be inspirational, but too often they’re a royal pain in the rear–dredging up feelings I’d rather ignore or experiences I’d rather leave in my past.  Too preachy. More often than not, condescending. But sometimes, yes, I’ll admit there are times when a good one comes along that can change your day, light a smile, and inspire you to dig in harder to face some of the obstacles in your path.

I signed up a few months back to get online delivery of daily quotes through Inspirational Daily. Some days, admittedly, I choose to hit “delete.” And just like that, the pressure of having to face someone else’s idea of inspiration is gone (LOL)! But there are other days I’m more open to ponder the connections between how I live my life and the daily quote sent out through someone’s else’s website. Yesterday was one of those days, when my email delivered a doozy to my virtual doorstep and I chose to hit “read.” Here’s what grabbed me:

You’ve got to follow your passion. You’ve got to figure out what it is you love–who you really are. And have the courage to do that. I believe that the only courage anybody ever needs is the courage to follow your own dreams.   —Oprah Winfrey

Well, dear Oprah, there’s a reason your quote reasonated with me! It’s through digging deep into what I love to do that I can forget my worries about living with long-term diabetes. Instead of being tempted by foods I shouldn’t eat 24/7, I’m happy to be digging in my garden until my blood sugar drops so low that I have to legitimately eat! I’m carried away by shaping clay on my humming potter’s wheel into a miraculous vessel, or trying to master applying a Photoshop action to one of my beloved photographs, or making the right connection with one of my sweet dogs so that she goes sailing over jumps and swishes perfectly through her agility weave poles . . .  It’s all beautiful when those efforts work.

Kath on potters wheel in Japan

It doesn’t really matter what your passions and talents are. They’re “happiness channels”–there for the taking, helping us feel better about ourselves. My happiness makes those around me happier, too. But most important for me, my passions move me into another dimension–one far removed from the everyday burdens of living with (and worrying about) diabetes. I am someone else in the time I spend passionately engaged in things I love to do. That, alone, is worth the time and space it takes to grapple with the daily onslaught of quotes delivered to my virtual doorstep!

B well, b happy, and pursue your passions. Somehow, they are all magically linked!

Until next time, kath

And the morning didn’t disappoint. The birds’ sequined feathers dazzled me. Their quest for energy-sustaining liquids fascinated. And their near-nonstop activity was mesmerizing. Then, looking at all the energy these jeweled hummers expended, a curious thought grabbed me.

Though I love watching these tiny acrobats, I can’t imagine how much sugar (i.e., carbs and food) it would take to keep me going like that! Our group’s hosts, in fact, let us know that they mix up, on average, over 300 pounds of sugar and water in one season. That translates into 1,733 calories (straight carbs) per pound of sugar, or almost 520,000 calories per season for those busy little creatures! I can’t even imagine having to figure out insulin coverage for this type of routine!

Having to count my carb intake every day and balance it with activity, sometimes feeling trapped into a “Groundhog Day” repetitive pattern of being chained to food as an insuling-taking Type 1 diabetic, this thought of never being able to do anything but sustain one’s life by a singular quest for food takes my breath away! And exercising like that? It really would take a miracle for any of us to sustain that level of activity (insulin-dependent or not). Go hummers, go!  Amazing what we take for granted, isn’t it?

B well, b happy. I’d love to hear about your passions that keep you going in spite of health challenges.

Until next time, kath

Kath + Tess' first show- Scottsdale

Whoever said life–despite living with diabetes–can’t be fun?

Having come back recently from showing my puppy Tess in our first AKC conformation shows, and entering  local AKC Agility Trials with my 5 year old whippet Zoe for the very first time, I can swear to the magic that intense participation in something–anything–you love doing is worth it!

I’ll admit I was a tad overwhelmed when I drove all the way from Albuquerque to Scottsdale for my first dog show a few weeks ago! Mostly, I was a little rattled at having to stand my puppy correctly as show judges scrutinized me, her, and other entrants. But it took only a day or two into the showing process (along with some lessons and advice before I’d left home for the show), to realize that I really could do this! And aside from the political aspects of the dog show world where well-known breeders and their dogs and handlers sometimes garner judges’ attention and the top awards, we did well enough to be encouraged! Two 2nd place ribbons, several 3rds and 4ths, and a world of experience in the realm of showing my puppy! Woo hoo!

Next up, reminding me of the importance of exercising, eating right, practicing agility signals and moves, and just striving to improve, came the AKC 3-day agility trial. I entered Zoe with a little trepidation. Like me, she’s quirky and gets stressed in situations that are new to her. But we’ve worked hard for almost three years trying to learn agility together. I was happy, knowing my dog had found a niche in which she could do well. But I didn’t know if she would hold up at the competition level. So we registered for our first agility trials to find out.

What did I learn? Because I didn’t give up, Zoe and I are finally a team. Running two agility runs each day of the 3-day trial was great for me; the stress, well, sometimes less than great! But the lure of working at agility to get better is, well, simply alluring. I actually have dreams of earning any coveted titles of AX (Excellent A Agility), AXJ (Excellent A Jumpers With Weaves), or even, dare I say it, a MACH (Master Agility Champion)!

Camaraderie with other agility enthusiasts, the potential to make good friends, the focus it takes to stay physically active and get  stronger to compete–all for the love of a dog and a sport. Voila! How powerful to find a niche that makes your heart (and not your blood sugar!) soar.  Ahhhhhh; all is well.

Kath + Zoe in Agility Trials- Albuquerque

B well; b happy.  And find any niche that helps u soar to new heights!

Until next time, Kath

 Kathy . . . in haiku

      January 2011

 I was born early—

long struggling to find my way

in spirit and place.

Survivor, thriver—

I’ve learned a key to living

is looking forward.

My visions are strong—

realized through a camera’s lens

and other art forms.

I am a thinker;

creative problem-solver;

a great listener.

I relish in play—

everyday interactions

wrap me in happy.

I’m swept by passion—

more artist than scientist;

dreaming in color.

I’ve tasted success—

teaching and training, giving

to make a diff’rence.

Passionate trav’ler–

I love grasping warp and weft

of other life beats.

Still, dreams are many—

motivational speaker,

writer; gard’ner, too.

Despite challenges—

yet perhaps from their impact,

I assume little.

Laughter is a gift—

and opportunity looms

every day I wake.

Push onward, I say—

live extraordinarily

and never give up.

And those dreams? Still strong—

despite the cacophony

of spooling months, years.

They all nourish hope—

feeding every embarked step

of dazzling passage.

My life has been a whirlwind–turned upside down not by the expected stress of the holidays, but by an innocent adorable puppy! I didn’t expect or even want to add a 3rd dog to our brood until summer, but a friend of ours we know through lure coursing with our whippets begged us to “try” her as part of our family–one who is eager to train and work their dogs on agility courses. I have been training Zoe, our 5-year old, for over two years in agility (which is really to say, I’ve been training myself to do the right things!), and we’re finally ready to start competing. The skills classes and agility drills alone have done wonders for keeping my blood sugar levels under control! And they’re so much FUN!  But just how in the world do you just “try out” a dog?    

So our brindled Tesla (whom we call Tess) came to stay the day after Thanksgiving at four months of age. Despite turning down a pup from this litter several times, we were finally and unabashedly worn down by the breeder’s begging and belief in us. And zapped full force by the puppy’s adorable antics! I’m enrolled in not one, but THREE new year’s classes for little Tess:  Puppy Foundations in Agility, Puppy Obedience, and even the much dreaded Conformation Skills (yes, it’s really killer out there in the show ring, much like the world portrayed in the cult classic movie “Best in Show”). All to see what potential this charming beautiful smart-as-a-whip puppy has to offer . . .    

And I’ve unexpectedly found a delightful benefit of training a puppy: Little to no holiday stress or time to fixate on holiday food! No time = no worries. Oops; except for the albatross of housebreaking, which means I have to run, grab some reinforcing treats, and get Tess outside NOW!    

My newest piece of heaven

B well, b happy, b full of spirit and purpose! Happy holidays to you and yours! Until next time, Kath

I’ve been crazily busy the last two weeks with really cool pursuits; entering three of my photos into the local state fair, assisting the professional judging panel for three straight l-o-n-g evenings of judging professional and amateur images, running my dog in our very first agility fun match, putting together my first tile mosaic project. All great stuff. And so demanding of immersion and my attention that I started to lose focus on managing my blood sugars.

What a double-edged sword; such joy in throwing myself into tackling projects and activities that make my heart sing, and make me nearly forget about shouldering the physical and psychological burdens that come with living day to day with diabetes. Yet, in the totally blissful immersion of my mind and body, comes an affront in the shape of creeping blood sugar levels that I can feel in my aching hands. Inattention to the diabetes, I guess, gone unnoticed and maybe even subconsciously tucked aside because I didn’t have time to deal with it while having so much fun, loving life and all I’m doing!

When I had an opportunity to print out some photographic images with my friend Eric, president of our local camera club, he posed an interesting challenge to me:  ”To get better and move to the next level, you need to think about choosing a focus, immersing yourself in it, and learning all you can about it; so what topic do you think will be your  focus this year?” And of course, immersed in the context of striving to be a skilled photographer worthy of National Geographic stature, I was willing to struggle with that issue. Portraiture? Abstracts? Landscapes? Cultural Photojournalism? Motion photography?  My mind spun with delight at the possibilities. All important to learn; each one filled with lessons and opportunities.

And then I thought (a little grudgingly, I’ll admit);  Hmmm. Not so different in terms of what I have to do every day and every week of my life with diabetes. Strategize about compositional elements: what makes me strong?  Analyze what’s right, and what’s not working for me. Readjust my position.  And sometimes, hit delete and be willing to start over and forgive myself for my mistakes. Focus, I realize, is key to everything.

Definitely not easy to do when it’s so personal, but I’m still learning, every day, how life and art are so integrated.  CLICK.

Dec 8, 2009

Of ALL the people who might have considered creating a website and blog for talking about the experiences of living with diabetes, I should come in the bottom of the heap–dead last. But funny enough: I’m not dead yet, and surprise of surprises, here I find myself . . . wanting to hear and share stories about really living–thru good times and bad–with and despite diabetes. And moving on, feeling just a little triumphant, when I manage to be doing okay or even better than ok!

So I’ll just confess: I was a closet diabetic for many years, growing up with diabetes after being diagnosed post-flu at the age of 10 with Type I. Forty-plus years of going to school, teaching FT, caring for others, adopting and raising my own two children: these things have taught me a thing or two about tackling the passions that REALLY keep me moving forward. Traveling, photography, writing, dog agility, losing myself in clay; through these activities, I’ve been able to find happiness and joy. Such pursuits have not only enriched my life but also helped me redefine myself and my journey beyond the everyday drag of diabetes issues. Today, I can finally shout: I AM A WARRIOR–a little tougher, a little wiser, and squaring myself every day to embrace  life!