SweetLifeStories Diabetes Blog

Quotes can be inspirational, but too often they’re a royal pain in the rear–dredging up feelings I’d rather ignore or experiences I’d rather leave in my past.  Too preachy. More often than not, condescending. But sometimes, yes, I’ll admit there are times when a good one comes along that can change your day, light a smile, and inspire you to dig in harder to face some of the obstacles in your path.

I signed up a few months back to get online delivery of daily quotes through Inspirational Daily. Some days, admittedly, I choose to hit “delete.” And just like that, the pressure of having to face someone else’s idea of inspiration is gone (LOL)! But there are other days I’m more open to ponder the connections between how I live my life and the daily quote sent out through someone’s else’s website. Yesterday was one of those days, when my email delivered a doozy to my virtual doorstep and I chose to hit “read.” Here’s what grabbed me:

You’ve got to follow your passion. You’ve got to figure out what it is you love–who you really are. And have the courage to do that. I believe that the only courage anybody ever needs is the courage to follow your own dreams.   —Oprah Winfrey

Well, dear Oprah, there’s a reason your quote reasonated with me! It’s through digging deep into what I love to do that I can forget my worries about living with long-term diabetes. Instead of being tempted by foods I shouldn’t eat 24/7, I’m happy to be digging in my garden until my blood sugar drops so low that I have to legitimately eat! I’m carried away by shaping clay on my humming potter’s wheel into a miraculous vessel, or trying to master applying a Photoshop action to one of my beloved photographs, or making the right connection with one of my sweet dogs so that she goes sailing over jumps and swishes perfectly through her agility weave poles . . .  It’s all beautiful when those efforts work.

Kath on potters wheel in Japan

It doesn’t really matter what your passions and talents are. They’re “happiness channels”–there for the taking, helping us feel better about ourselves. My happiness makes those around me happier, too. But most important for me, my passions move me into another dimension–one far removed from the everyday burdens of living with (and worrying about) diabetes. I am someone else in the time I spend passionately engaged in things I love to do. That, alone, is worth the time and space it takes to grapple with the daily onslaught of quotes delivered to my virtual doorstep!

B well, b happy, and pursue your passions. Somehow, they are all magically linked!

Until next time, kath

FINALLY! My appointment with my new endocrinologist rolled around last week (thankfully a week before and not post-Thanksgiving with all the food excesses we’re surrounded with!).

I’ll admit I was a little nervous waiting for this appointment. How could I not be after the negative experience I had spending four long unfruitful years with another diabetes doctor who didn’t make enough time to listen or problem-solve in positive ways with me? The experience with my previous doc not only left me with a bad taste about seeking another endocrinologist; it also left me questioning my own thinking, expectations and diabetes management style in very negative ways. In a word, rarely getting my very long-term diabetes issues addressed by that doc badly undermined my normal positive thinking. I had begun to question myself and even wondered if I knew enough–despite living over 46 years with Type 1 diabetes–to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

So this time around, while I waited for THE big heart-thumping appointment day with my new doc (who really was my “old” doc many years ago, and whom I couldn’t see until recently because I was on an off-limits health plan for his practice), I did some homework. Some planning, if you will, to help ensure our reintroduction was successful. I wanted to give Dr. E an accurate picture of what I know, what I do to take care of myself, and what I am willing to learn and do differently in collaboration with him.

So I came up with a list of FIVE  THINK-THROUGHS that helped make my appointment a success:

   1- Make a list of everything related to managing my diabetes that is working well for me.

   2- List some daily problems or challenges that threaten my health and thinking related to diabetes.

   3- Prioritize–or number–these challenges, from the most important to the tiniest concern.

   4- Keep an accurate log for at least 3 days (5 days is better!), and record in it all blood sugar levels, food (carb) intake, insulin amounts, times, medications, and daily issues that come up. Then take time, every day, to reflect on patterns I understand and problems I note so that I can thoughtfully contribute to the patient-doctor conversation.

   5- Think about what is not working in my own health management, and write down what issues I’m willing to address with the help of my doctor!

Doing these five things takes honesty and a little time. But the stakes are high: prepping for meetings with our doctors gives us the promise of more quality time spent living our lives productively and more independently. My new doc understood that I’d spent time thinking about what issues were most important to adddress together, and it paid off. I have a knowledgeable, caring endocrinologist who’s clearly on my side. And just as important, he has a new patient willing to do whatever it takes to team up and be successful in terms of managing her own health. That pays off physically and emotionally. For me, it’s the golden key to living life well.

B well, b happy. Until next time, kath

I don’t usually pass along quotes, although many inspire me toward appreciating life. But here’s one I thought I’d share. It may serve to strengthen your resolve or lighten your load–especially if you’ve been worrying a little too much about the “what if’s” of diabetes or another health issue.

Live your truth. Express your love. Share your enthusiasm. Take action towards your dreams. Walk your talk. Dance and sing to your music. Embrace your blessings. Make today worth remembering.                                                                                                                                              - Steve Maraboli       

Blessings? They surround us, challenging our thinking and the obstacles in our path. Diabetes, in a strange way, has ultimately made me a better person by forcing me to think, problem-solve, outwit and be able to laugh at all the zany situations that come up and are related to the disease. Would I rather be free of its burdens? Of course. But I also give thanks, at this time of the season, for its challenges. They remind me of the joy and beauty all around me. 

Celebrating Tess & Zoe's bds!

B well, b happy. And have a happy THANKSgiving. 

World Diabetes Day is not something I’d admit giving much thought to, but then I clicked on a few links to read about so many people’s efforts trying corral awareness about the epidemic of diabetes in the U.S. and around the globe. Most of the planned activities and information is about Type 2. That’s not me, I thought. But scanning the Twitter postings, I still gasped when I read this mind-boggling projection:  It is estimated that 1 in 3 Americans will get Type 2 diabetes by 2050.

Wow! That means that of nearly every family I know, one member of that family to whom I’m connected by blood or friendship will become diabetic.  Of course, these projected stats are really pointed toward adults in their 30′s and older. But where I live in New Mexico, even now there is an epidemic of young people being diagnosed with Type 2 in their teens! In the last decade, the number of Hispanics and Native Americans succumbing to diabetes has opened an equal opportunity door to admit every ethnicity you can name.

Many of these new diabetics have to go on insulin. And despite the life-lengthening promise of insulin, it has a darker side. I know about that side because I’ve been taking insulin either through single daily injections, twice daily injections, four times-a-day injections, five-times-a-day injections, extra when-I’ve-been-sick-with-the-flu injections, and 24/7 insulin-delivered-through-a-pump “injections” for an unbelievable 46 years and 7 months. So despite its helpful properties to keep me going, it’s definitely not a cure for diabetes.

Just for the sake of having some admittedly distorted fun, I converted the length of time I’ve been taking insulin to try to ward off the evil complications of diabetes. That calculates to approximately 17,045 days or 2,435 weeks I’ve had the dubious honor of living with diabetes.  Today, my blood sugar’s a little on the high side, and I am sitting here with time on my hands, waiting for the extra insulin I just took to help lower it. But who’s counting?!?

In a further push toward masochism, my curiosity got the better of my self-control (always my nemesis, anyway) which warned me not to proceed in this direction, so I then tried to determine the number of insulin injections I’ve taken over 46 years and 7 months. In just the first 15 years of having diabetes, my average was 22,000 insulin injections! That’s a human pincusion, for goodness sake;  a government war-time experiment gone wrong, of sorts . . . 

And how many shots have I taken in the remaining 28 years? Hmmm–impossible to calculate, as I’ve been on an insulin pump that delivers insulin to me 24/7. That is, when it doesn’t clog up, run down, get detached from my body for water sports, or been set aside the relatively few times I’ve been hospitalized and on a scene-stealing I.V.

All of this amounts to a staggering impact on just one person’s life circle. So the growing epidemic is, indeed, mind-boggling in its menacing march. Beyond my grumblings about who might be responsible for this plight and my occasional epithats at the obstacles thrown at me, I still have to laugh at the craziness of it all, the ups and downs, the behaviors and scenes engendered by diabetes. What other choice is there? Usually, the laughter restores me, keeping me sane from the worry than can be so consuming.

Yet it’s interesting that I also feel a sense of honor–appreciation, if you will–to be in relatively good health after so many years grappling with this demanding disease. To live through a challenging experience usually brings deeper understanding, compassion, and a skill-set many others need. It is my hope to share these lessons and understandings along the road toward conquering diabetes–in spite of and because of it all.

So World Diabetes Day, bring it on! I hope the team players win this one.

 B well, b happy. Stare those demons down . . . and laugh just a little.

Until next time, kath

What does it take to stay healthy in terms of nutrition?  I just read a report on the newly-discovered reason for the soaring rate of diabetes hitting Americans, and of all things, it tries to place blame not on supersized portions being eaten, but on people’s propensity to snack too much.

First, I laughed in disbelief. We all know the enormous portions we’re surrounded with everyday. All you have to do is look at the number (and general size) of people dining at restaurant buffet bars. It’s a lot like taking a cruise . . . and justifying taking “just a taste” of this dish or that. Too easy to do for all of us; harder to set limits on eating only the foods we need to satisfy being physically (versus emotionally) hungry!

But snacking? Come on! This is harder for me to accept as the whole truth for pushing the number of people being diagnosed worldwide with diabetes into the stratosphere. While I know that vending machines, snack-stop markets, and fast food chains are guilty of plying the public with high-calorie, fat-saturated, and sugar-loaded foods and desserts, are we really eating too much, too often? Maybe I’m out of the loop–being so prone to soaring blood sugars if I snack on these foods. For me, a small piece of fresh fruit (only if I’m physically active), a tiny bite of dark chocolate, a piece of cheese, some pb–these work to keep my energy up when I really do need a snack.

Like everyone, I have to strive to be very aware of how much I let myself eat in general. I have to look at the nutritional information on every package and count out the exact number of crackers and “dial” the exact carb count into my insulin pump so that I can get a pretty accurate dose of insulin to “cover” (or work on) the carbohydrates I put into my body. I do this with more accuracy than not–especially when I’m home–every single day.

But there are real problems when I’m away from home and snacking OR eating a meal. Most restaurants still don’t break down foods for us so we can judge how much to eat–or whether to order something else. When I’ve asked for this information, I still get looks from people that suggest I’m being compulsive! But I can’t let these impressions break down my own mission to do what I need to do to stay healthy–in spite of the food industry’s mission to sell to and overfeed us!

Read the article and see what you think. I’ll bet the reasons for Americans gaining weight are a lot more complex than what’s pointed out here, but it’s–if you’ll pardon the expression–good food for thought . . .  As for me, my blood sugar is a solid 85 and I’m going out to work in my garden to finish laying a new pebble path after I count out 6 carbs of peanuts which equals approximately 45 peanuts which requires .4 units of insulin . . . which gives you an idea of the monkey on my back . . . ha, ha! You get the idea!

Until later.

b well, be happy, Kath

My summer days are filled with amazing activities and opportunities to connect with friends. Dog-training classes, clay classes and studio time, gardening and yard design, exercise classes; you name it, I try to fit it in. Busy keeps me pretty happy. But sometimes, a more personal one-on-one connection is something I crave. There’s something important–more intimate–about spending time with one person and being able to share your thoughts, feelings, passions about life.

Yesterday, I called a new friend to see if she and her family were okay due to a raging fire not far from their home. We spent a few minutes talking, and then I reminded her to feel free to call me if she wanted any company to photograph people, special events, or places this summer.

“Funny you mention that,” she said.

“Oh?” I asked. What do you mean?”

“I plan to photograph the Santa Fe Rodeo this evening. Want to come along?”

Such a simple little question. Despite having other tentative plans that afternoon to meet a group of my clay artist friends and take the train up to Santa Fe so we could hear a guest lecture at Santa Fe Clay–which I’d done the previous week with that same group– somehow it was too much of a temptation to resist. Photographing a rodeo and its riders up-close and personal was something I had never tried. I was intrigued, but my reasoning went beyond the opportunity of photographing the rodeo.

Being outdoors and stretching myself to try something new? A powerful temptation! But beyond that, the chance to spend time with one person whose love of life and enthusiasm are contagious, and who understands–more than the average person–what it’s like to live with Type 1 diabetes because her grandson has lived with it since he was four? Those are powerful attributes  that struck me not only as being worth altering my plans, but also pushed me to take this chance to connect with someone I admire and want to know better. I let myself give in to my intuition and what felt right.

Every friend is important in keeping me connected, hopeful, and grateful for each day. These relationships help me appreciate the struggle to stay healthy. But sometimes, I need something deeper than meeting friends in groups. Maybe it’s the chance to delve deeper. To feel unthreatened enough to open the door to our souls just a little wider when we connect one-on-one. Sometimes, the power of one special friendship can be just the ticket to massaging the heart and keeping me believing in the journey.

I’m visiting my sister, bro-in-law, and 16-year-old niece in NYC this week. It’s hot and humid, but every time I’m here I wonder at the delights and different ways of life that fill the city.

Just yesterday, for example, I got to walk through the Brooklyn Botanic Gardens for hours by myself, photographing to my heart’s delight. The new herb garden filled me with inspiration for my own southwestern garden and hardscape. When I finally returned “home” and had a moment to spend with my niece Hannah, I told her how much I loved doing things, being passionate about my interests and open to new pursuits. Her simple response? “Every day should be filled with wonder.”

How inspiring her approach to life is! For the first 25 years of living with diabetes, I wasn’t always able to view life around me with so much wonder and pleasure.  Hannah listened and, in her child-on-the-cusp-of-grown-up manner, she reiterated the importance of doing something wonderful every day. That’s a powerful mantra! From the mouths of babes . . . telling us something we already know to be true but is somehow farfetched, at times, when we feel burdened with health or family problems.

Living so long with Type 1 diabetes has not been easy, but it has helped me appreciate every friend and experience I now have. It has made me push myself to learn more, do better, be better. It has forced me to focus. It has pushed me to shape opportunity from challenge. Diabetes has ultimately made me a better person. For all this, I am absolutely filled with wonder!

B well, b happy, b wonder(ful).

Until next time, kath

Oh my, how did I forget to consider the restorative power of getting enough sleep?!? Every once in a while when I go in to see a doctor or physician’s assistant or nurse for something, I’ll hear: ‘Yes, diabetes wears down the body ‘ . . . or ‘Diabetes strips the body of nutrients’ . . . or ‘Diabetics really need more sleep than the average person–about 8 hours–so their bodies can repair themselves from the toll it takes on them.’

Such a simple thing to do for all of us–diabetic or not–but so hard to remember when you’re in the rush of work or meeting obligations or in deadline (sometimes self-imposed) project mode!

Enough sleep is a magical gift. Most of us probably don’t give ourselves this simple luxury often enough. Maybe I’ll just have to consider skipping my next morning meeting or that dreaded early morning exercise class?!?

B well, b happy, and b rested.

Until next time, kath

sometimes it takes something that puts fear into your heart to get you to move forward.

for me, it came within days of running agility trials with Zoe, my 5 year old whippet. the chant of “something’s wrong” came in the form of pain; aching in my foot that wouldn’t go away despite soaking and massaging it in hot baths, and getting extra accupuncture appointments designed to increase blood flow. it stayed, along with much higher than normal blood sugar levels, that swept a raw fear into my heart and mind.

that kind of deep raw fear is something that sometimes gets the better of those of us who live with diabetes. it’s like a refrain–a low pulse lurking in the background of our lives, but there nonetheless, whispering: do you think you can escape the long-term effects of diabetes? this is IT for you; you might lose your foot or your leg if you don’t get those blood sugars down NOW!

i always try my hardest to keep my sugar levels low. but sometimes, it’s a losing battle. insulin resistance? maybe. stress? probably. usually, these episodes resolve within a few days or hours, and i go back to being my more relaxed self. happy in being and doing so many things i love! but this go-round, lasting almost two weeks, definitely rattled me.

how did i cope and what did i do? i kept upping my insulin (higher basal rates on my pump and giving extra boluses). and of course, when too much insulin hit me, i had several severe reactions (low blood sugar episodes). then my blood sugar level rebounded spitefully–into the 370 range. but at a friend’s suggestion, i joined a Zumba exercise class. it had been a long time since i attended a group class like that, but it helped. finally, my blood sugar levels came down, and the class lifted my mood and worries.

hooray for the benefits of exercise. i was even able to go without formal exercise the very next day; thrilled to be on a photography trip with girlfriends. but these kinds of incidents remind me that quality time doesn’t just mean time connected with others. it’s obviously critical–whether or not you live with a disease like diabetes–to be connected to oneself in order to make your own life as positive and healthy as possible. and yes, Zumba’s on tomorrow’s schedule.

B well, b happy. And keep trying to stay connected!

Until next time, kath

sun’s up! birds are chirping! and so am i!  happy, that is! and why not?!? spring into summer is finally, really, truly here! thank goodness, because last week we nearly froze to death in the high desert southwest–being pummeled with 50 mph spring winds, sleet, rain, and snow showers! mother nature obviously has her own terms and conditions.

so the last rose is going in this morning–after i treat my waking blood sugar of 40 (now  rising to 54 !)–along with my 4 big tomatoes and two gorgeous purple basils that have been waiting ever so patiently for enough consistent warmth to flourish. rest of the herbs were planted yesterday, so we’re ready for a mahvelous summer feast . . . 

but for now, a bite of not-so-garden-derived deep chocolate brownie will have to do! blessings, all of it . . .